Plethora

THE... BEGINNING!

2009-09-13T01:55:00.003+08:00

I HAVE MOOOOVED
MOWYOURLAWN.WORDPRESS.COM
IS UP AND RUNNING LIKE A ROADRUNNER.

TOODLES AND SEE YOU THERE LOVELIES!

The End.

2009-08-15T15:45:00.003+08:00

If you have noticed, I have stopped blogging.

For a big part of my life, I have indulged myself with the notion of a thousand eyes staring at me while I bare all; the admiration, the fame, the love. I now understand that love is a quiet, sensible thing, that it is not at all loud (which is mostly self seeking) and instead humble. It does not ask for attention, just concession, and at most, acceptance. The right to love is the right to give love, not demand love.

I have loved blogging once, knowing that in my faux anonymity i can express my true feelings in a way that might be inaccessible in real life. In my blog, I start the conversation. In my blog, I choose the topic. Nobody interrupts, just gives comments. It is indeed a world of self indulgence that is fueled by my obsession in me, me and me. What I eat, where I go, what I do, how I feel. I might post an entry regarding current affairs to make myself sound intellectual. I create an identity that appeals to me in the way it will portray myself. It is, fantastically, my second life. Or more accurately, my second attempt at life.

Looking back through all these posts, I realise that the biggest irony is that even though the main aim of blogging was to keep alive memories of my growth over the years and everything else related to it; my relationships, my feelings, my thoughts, it was a half-hearted effort because my blog failed to capture the most intrinsic part of my life-- things that cannot be made public even in the most extreme circumstances.

And it is with that that I bid goodbye to my current blog. Thank you for reading this, especially my friends who have been keeping up with my life all these years. :)

Incoherence

2009-08-02T01:35:00.003+08:00

CAMERA CABLE EEEZZ MISSIINNNNNGGGG!!!

Ps: I have a Pink chopping board to bring to London!
P/ps: Forgot to return library books on time again :(
Pp/ps: Need to get back invitation card from Miss Kwa :((
Ppp/ps: I love you Jingboy! :))

Pppp/ps: Is this the right way to wright pses?

Temperature's Going Up, up up

2009-07-25T04:46:00.003+08:00

Mine that is. Just now it hit an all time high of 39.1 Degrees Celsius. I took a cold shower and it went down to 38.7 Degrees Celsius. Over these past two--entering three-- days I've been fluctuating between the 38s and 37s, so this scared me a bit.

Hope I don't get any brain damage; Im quite retarded as it is already. Hahaha!

Save!!!

2009-07-23T09:58:00.002+08:00

Pretty satisfied with my wardrobe now; so Im going to direct (what?) funds into

1) Olympus Ep1 (Screams!!!)
2) Good smartphone
3) Travelling expenses (bulk of which should go here)
4) Savings (just in case.)

Going to take A level Cert today; hope my art stuff has not rotted in the meantime :( Anybody else going to the AEP exhibition? :)

:((

2009-07-22T16:20:00.002+08:00

Is the feeling of insecurity a sign of humility?
I don't seem to know much (if anything) anymore.

Just feeling like fuck.

Cheap Laugh

2009-07-22T01:31:00.005+08:00

I typed "Ohso" in my browser bar because I read Tammy's Ohsofickle like everyday; but this time I ended up here.

Ok I actually printscreened it but don't know why this came out. ANYWAY. At first look I thought it was a website for vibrators!!!! I mean "Ohso" would be a good name for vibrators and the product was long with ribs, bumps and holes along the side and were sold in bright colours like hot pink, green (as shown above) and cobalt blue!

But to my disappointment they turned out to be toothbrushes. Time to start thinking of expanding your product list, Ohso?

Nostalgia

2009-07-22T01:05:00.003+08:00

Need to get my art and A Level Cert. Soon. Tomorrow perhaps?

There are only two people I trust on earth.
I'm leaving both.

4 years.
4 goddamn years.

I will not forget.
I will love you.
I will never forget.

Wait for me.

Up up up? Down down down.

2009-07-17T20:50:00.001+08:00

Freaking need to save money.

High and Dry

2009-07-16T23:51:00.007+08:00

So this has been what's going on this past half a month.

SRJC 20th Annual College Day 2009
The landscape has changed drastically and you can hardly recognise SR anymore. Funny, though, how much memories I have stored in a place that is now non-existent.

Yes I forgot to pose for the cameras oops.

Pre-Departure Talks
Some of the Suisens went to Vivo to hang out. It's quite cute how Suisen likes to chill; we do exactly what my old class does-- stop in the middle of nowhere with no direction in mind, always in shopping malls, always chit-chatting in coffee cafes and pissing everyone off while doing so. We managed to catch the bimbo show 'Ghosts of Girlfriends Past' and saw this poor Singacat with a mask, in the rain. Just get out of the rain, kitty, then you wouldn't catch a cold and need to wear the mask...

And here's my old hunnybunny who's forced to play with my favourite mooncake snack for a picture. hurs.

Pre-Departure Course and TSPC Rehearsal
After another round of talks Wenlin and I happily flew off to Vivo to shop. She's DAMN FUNNY and keeps referring to herself in third-person "Wenlin is sad!" We ate at Figs and Olive which kinda sucked.

Then went crazy shopping in F21.

Lovelove!

A6 Gathering (Which I obviously crashed...)
The A6ers met up to celebrate Clarabelle and Darren's birthdays. Wasn't a good day for me just kinda sat around stoning. Totally unlucky day as well, everything had a hiccup or two.

Food! And a weird face.

Looks like Darren's getting married.

Eugene was too hungry to let me take a picture of his food first so he just ignored my attempts and ate it right away :(

Nice view outside :)

We moved off to TCC and had an even worse time. Or that's what I think lah. Ambiance sucked; it was too hot and stuffy and we couldnt play board games or bring in cakes from other places or ANYTHING. after a while everyone just stoned; Eugene's the best he read a book while we talked.

SHMELL MY ARMY ARMPIT WRATHHHHH!!!

YUMMESHHH!!!

See I told you.

Later we just sat at some random spot which turned out to be the smokers' chill out area. Bad choice. Celebrated the birthday and then left; after which we ditched our ideas to club/ pub and went home instead.

Lovely Gobi cakes!

Happy Birthday You Twos!

Yummesh.

Din Tai Fung and Hardcore Shoppenh
Mom and I decided not to go to town last weekend and spend it at the Tampines Malls instead. Turned out to be a pretty good idea because we got loads of stuff for both of us and really enjoyed ourselves. Biggest splurge; momo bought 5 packets of $15 pumpkin paste powder at the Hokkaido Fair!

Food was above average :) they just got cold too fast.

Xiao Long Bao!!!

Nom.

Yes happy with shades!

And Finally... TODAY'S COOKING CLASS!!!
Damn fun company going to Shatec! Wenlin's nose/lips are incredible.

kokshin:*happy* I won prize!

Wenlin's group and our mastahhpieces!!! (both edible OHKAYYS!!!)

Weird VR Visors.

(Coffee) Clubbing.

Argh rehearsal tml. Goodnight :((

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

2009-07-15T12:54:00.007+08:00

To Kill a Mockingbird Autumn Leaves by the Smiths Saturday Night Live
M*A*S*H This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald Blackbird by the Beatles
MLK by U2 Pink Floyd Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Secret Santa Vapour Trail by Ride Asleep by the Smiths Scarborough Fair by Simon and Garfunkel
A Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum Time of No Reply by Nick Drake
Dear Prudence by The Beatles Gypsy by Suzanne Vega Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues
Daydream by Smashing Pumpkins Dusk by Genesis Landslide by Fleetwood Mac The Great Gatsby
A Separate Peace The Mayor of Castro Street The Catcher in the Rye
It's a Wonderful Life Walden by Henry David Thoreau LSD On the Road by Jack Kerouac
Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs Gomer Pyle Reds
The Slits Billie Holiday E. E. Cummings White Album Hamlet The Stranger
The Graduate Harold and Maude My Life as a Dog Dead Poets Society
The Unbelievable Truth The Fountainhead Another Brick in the Wall, Part II by Pink Floyd
Night of the Living Dead

Hmm.

2009-07-12T22:48:00.003+08:00

There's one line in Naruto that always keeps me going back to the series despite the slow uploads of (free) episodes online. It's the saying that if you think about someone who is away hard enough, the person will return to you.

It was never meant to be corny; as cliched as it sounds. The idea takes the same existentialist concerns as the story about the tree and transmutes it into a medium that is easier to digest; visuals and life scenarios. In case you didn't know, the story about the tree is simple-- a tree falls in a forest, but no one hears a sound. Has the tree fallen? Likewise, ones existence is thus similarly verified only by another's confirmation; the easiest of which lies in our cognitive memory.

Is it logical that once you stop thinking about someone, the person's existence is nullified? Scientifically, it's bullshit. George Bush exists (the fucker) whether or not we think of him, whether the tabloids keep up their daily rampage and paparazzi snap pictures of him eternally falling off his walker. Everyday, he goes about eating breakfast, mulling over his time at the white house and praying Obama screws up a foreign policy so he can share his burden of being one of America's worst presidents with someone else other than Warren Harding. That shows, obviously, that no amount of black thoughts from the Iranian troops is going to render George Bush dead tomorrow morning, and that people exist despite you thinking extra hard about doing away with them.

However, thinking about someone is a constant reminder of the person and several attributes you want to commit to memory, and while the act of thinking about someone is probably not going to bring any dead people to life at the moment, it is a powerful way of reinforcing ties and bonds that need some strengthening. This is because our body functions in a complex series of events, and thinking about someone is more likely to trigger a follow-up action that reinforces what thoughts and feelings are kindled in association with the memory. For example, I would be more inclined to give my mother a call if I look at a parent across the street and think "Hey, I miss my mom" in comparison to the times when I don't think of her. The thought subject is my mother, the stimulus being a parent in real life, and in engaging in such a thought feelings of nostalgia and fondness are kindled which results in a strong primary emotion; loneliness, that results in an action to deal with the emotion-- calling my mother.

I was pleasantly surprised when Val messaged me today; I thought she would have forgotten all about me, or at least not bothered. It's now near 2 months to my departure where a new phase of life would begin in London. And while I do hope that people here will continue to think of me, I should do my part and not forget the people who have made my life a little more special in their own unique ways; because time (and place) is not an excuse while i have a living, breathing memory that easily surpasses the abilities of man-made computers.

After Fool's Gold.

2009-07-12T02:01:00.001+08:00

I am a failure.

Are you?

2009-07-09T22:25:00.007+08:00

Sorry if I've not been posting.

It's not altogether funny than disappointing how things are turning out thus far. Everyday seems 24 hours closer to an imminent doomsday than a liberating rapture. Maybe Im growing up, maybe Im growing too fast, or maybe all this while I haven't opened my eyes to the reality that has been right in front of me. Maybe in my positivity I have created a void dividing between the physical reality and the conjured, false reality. My apparent reality.

I keenly remember the very first wave of emotion that hit me when I first stepped into SR. It was a rush of adrenalin, of excitement in anticipation of what JC had to offer me. I told myself to give pre-tertiary education my best shot; to be the iron-man ideal and face, deal and eventually conquer all challenges thrown in my way. Surprisingly, this 'do-or-die' mentality is what drove me up the wall, and eventually to success.

It shocks me now that upon achieving my childhood dream, I don't know what else I want to do with my life. Be a better person? Be a good teacher? Be an artist? Co-own a castle with a rich investor willing to fork out millions for land, refurbishment and leasing of the castle to haute couture boutiques? (I'm kidding, the last was Michelle's goal after serving her 6 year bond with MOE.)

I'm so used to taking what life throws at me that right now, when life is finally succumbing to my individual will, I'm starting to question the wisdom of my own right to freedom of choice. Also maybe because Ive a tendency to take things at face value, to accept people, things and truths for what they really are without doubt. Only later to my stupidity do I (ever) realise that things are never as straightforward as they seem.

My biggest fear would be if I leave Singapore for my own selfish 'enhancement' only to come back losing out on the things I hold most dear-- spending time with my loved ones. I'm afraid; and not entirely unsubstantially so, that when I come back I wouldn't have the privilege of appreciating them anymore, or at least in the way I would want to. I'm afraid that this scholarship may be robbing one of the biggest parts of my life; my dependence on companionship and my confidantes.

This step would be, ironically, one of the most challenging for me. It's not even a matter of stepping out of my comfort zone; it's basically removing one of the factors that provide reason for my existence. And as I teeter on the brink of adulthood I'm praying very hard that this is the climax of a gradual maturance; not the foolish wish of a child.

It Don't Matter if You're Black or White

2009-07-08T14:35:00.001+08:00

One of my favourite MJ vids. Looking back, it still is!

Ernie and Bert's Rhyming Game

2009-07-06T14:45:00.001+08:00

Deb do you remember the one we had in art room!!!

Tatah Blogosphere for Now!

2009-06-29T22:25:00.005+08:00

Before I leave for the likes of Ubin, Pong pongs, deadly mozzies and isolation from the (modern) world...

I just needed to share this. Haha! Love and I'll be back in 4 days!

OBS Tomorrow

2009-06-29T17:44:00.000+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Betty Botter's Butter Better (than Zouk)

2009-06-28T23:43:00.005+08:00

So we've been to Zouk. HATED IT. Jingboy and i have decided that in the future we'll just chill at my place, turn on the music really loud, bring the booze and dance in my room. haha! why waste money on unnecessary fringe benefits like desperate scavengers who inch their crotches into girls' asses while dancing and zilch breathing space, much less dancing space?

okay then again we were dumb enough to go on a friday night and were unexpected audiences to the WARDROBE fashion show, which was probably a contributing factor to the inhumane amount of bodies in a room more or less the size of a five room flat. didnt help that none of us appreciated the fashion show. Not that we dont like good taste or nice clothes; it's just that it was barely visible due to the throngs of people present! Here are some bad shots.

Who's the Reddest of them all?

While waiting for Chien Tat, we went to the nearby Prata House for a breather.

Pu Yuan's too late; JX's got the bandung!!!

Finally the murtabak comes.

Guess who's at it again! (A different kind of scavenger :/)

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" (me: nonono eat eat.)

MUUUURRRRRRRTABAK!

MUACKS TO (MY) MURTABAK!

Chilling at the playground.

Our little secret.

Guess who's late. AGAIN.

This was the omen of worse to come. Tat's red wine was salty, thin and flat-- characteristics better apt at describing salted fish.

Glug glug.

Yeuch :(

So while I camwhored in the loo,

the boys got some alone time.

And then they went to the loo, so we got some alone time too!

Finally, at Phuture. We made the bulk of our money's worth exploring the club rather than dancing. After a while Jingboy and I separated from these two (who continued their adventure into the unknown) while we danced the remainder of the night away.

Which was actually VERY ENJOYABLE! Once you've got the space to actually, move, of course, more than your eyeballs.

And I didnt manage to get clear pics of the scavengers but ah well. God they are SO desperate! then again i guess some girls are desperate enough to like it so.

TODAY WAS GORAS' BIG WIN AGAINST THE YADDAYADDAYADDA FOOTBALLISTAS!!! great game bad photography too bad :) I post what I didn't screw up (which is not much).

First the boys played top nekkid which was more distracting than tantalising. Then again maybe Im just too attracted to the only shirted player in the team, the goalkeeper. After less than 10 mins the referee was probably going to nose bleed at the sight of all the bouncing breasts that he commanded them to put on their jerseys again, to everyone's immense relief.

Game was pretty good and I was so caught up I didnt bother with the photography. Last 5 mins saw a scuffle break out between the teams that eventually became three consecutive fights!

Caught red handed. But they werent the worst; this guy in the opposition wearing a white singlet kungfu kicked one of our players. He got a red card in the end.

Back at home :) Goodnoight!

Lucky I'm in Love with my Best Friend

2009-06-25T00:48:00.006+08:00

Give thanks to Lord Vengadesh, without whom we would have gotten lost in the woods in ECP! Jingboy and I made a last ditch effort at turning a lepak day 180 degrees and we managed to make it not only more interesting, but fulfilling as well :) we had a ball of a time; laughed till we wanted to die and ate too much too quick at the lagoon.

My typical face. 'Oh?'

stupid faces!

Cool weather, cool boyfriend.

Mine in pink and his in yellow!

Big foot, little foot.

Putrid stench of rotting fish. Ewwie.

Boy I hear you in my dreams
Feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

Oh Happpieee Dayyzzeee

2009-06-24T00:54:00.003+08:00

Meeting with the other MOE Scholars was really a pleasant surprise. Turned out to be alot more fun and entertaining than expected, and it was such a relief to know of so many (10 very good already ok) other people heading overseas for their undergraduate studies. Plus the people were not nerd freaks or something they were all a pretty fun bunch :)) DEB DEB I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!

Cheryl and I camwhoring in the toilet.

My date: Mr Hotness!

And then soccer.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shuaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiii

and others

okay sorry for this weird and pointless post, i am currently very sleepy.

Ive lost my Handphone :(((((

2009-06-23T00:19:00.002+08:00

Anyone willing to spare one for cheap??? I am in need of one quite badly :( super open to negotiations man! Okay maybe im posting on the wrong site should do a sgflea post right arghhhh. Okay anyways.

momsh, sis and i popped down to taka the other day and ate at Tonkichi. Okay im totally feeling like a glutton cum lard tank now; ive eaten so much crap these few days! Tonkichi basically specialises in fried japanese food. which is kinda wtf right because fried food doesnt require a culinary expert to master right.

We were given sesame seeds to pass our time/ amuse ourselves. momsh is happy doing what she does best-- be part of the cooking process!

It is yumsh BUTBUTBUT it is frigging $24 per dish which is daylight robbery. food this pricey SHOULD be good and thats why it was only partially satisfying; because it was so expensive! Give me sushi tei anyday! (i know the prices are similar but hey i get a variety of choices and uber fresh sushi!)

Just so you know the portion sizes are GIGANTIGORGEOUS. Yes i coudnt finish it.

Okay the irony is that we didnt eat anything here but this is the only place we took pictures. We actually ate a disappointing meal at swensens! It was funny lah all three of them so different now and we kept having different wavelengthed conversations throughout dinner. funny. i ate like a pig AGAIN dammit.

SO PLEASEEEEE LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE A HP!!!! OKAYSS!!! GOOD NOIGHT OFF TO MOE HQ TOMORROW AT 845 ARGHHHH!!!

Itching for a Holiday

2009-06-22T00:03:00.005+08:00

Lunch at Joo Chiat was fantastic; I regret not taking any pictures! today was a family day (inclusive of extended family members) where i learnt alot (and had to sit through alot). then again arent all family days like that. $1 finds and dinner with the momsh was geeewwwd. :)

plus i am proud of jingboy for playing so well today! though i didnt catch the match bummer. your number one fan pheeeeweeeeet!

Game Over.

2009-06-20T23:59:00.003+08:00

This is the first time.

So what if I was angry?
So what if I couldnt get my point across?
Who the fuck cares who's in the wrong?

Me.
That's why I slapped you.

Because Im a fucking bitch that's why.
Now everytime I think about it I give myself a few tight slaps.
But it doesnt change anything.

Useless fuck.

Girlfriend(s) Time!

2009-06-16T12:29:00.004+08:00

Im glad that I didnt let my fluey gooey self deter me from going to Dawn's and Evan's place. Visiting Dawn's was fantabulous it was like a blast to the past; I felt as if I had stepped into a time portal and gone back to my sec 2 days! It was so familiar and we were totally at ease with each other despite not meeting for 2 years?

Definitely one friendship that I really treasure and am glad to have back :) we watched A Ton Image (it's in French) and it totally freaked us out; stupid cloned bitch who wanted to shag her own father! To lighten the mood we later watched Uptown Girls which was equally nice. I really enjoyed it alot, can't wait to hop over next time round (and remember to take pictures!)

Yesterday Evan, Gab, Deb and I had a funny potluck session and it was really fun. Super romantic and we later played Game of Life and Twister. To Evan's fury Deb insisted on being two married men haha! Japanese themed one at my house next, ok! I will fry tempura! Somebody can bring sashimi :))

Thanks for the Memories

2009-06-14T18:41:00.005+08:00

It's not everyday that I talk about my secondary school days, and for a pretty good reason.

Think hard, especially if you're around my age (or older). Sweep away the initial layer of still life snapshots of people, things, events and moments you want to remember, till you get to the grit and grime of things you wish you had forgotten, moments you wish you died on the spot and times you don't talk about anymore. (Was that even me?)

It's easy to remember who's who in the past. Who was famous, who was not, who was up to ears in snot. Think hard; do you remember any annoying attention seeking brats who wish they were part of the cool crowd, and always made a big fuss over the small stuff? How about fashion misfits? Or maybe even the school's total bitch?

Sadly, I was probably throughout my secondary school years a big part of all three. Not only was I constantly screaming for attention (Lydia can gladly attest to that, haha), trying to stand out of the crowd by being different and throwing myself into the limelight in anyway possible, I would patronise people and treat friendships, relationships superficially. Many of my friends probably got turned off by my need for acknowledgment, or probably couldnt stand the screaming.

Fashion Misfit? Totally. In case you didn't watch the video, I was constantly trying to show that I was different through what I wore. I knew that I didn't look good so I'd pile on the accessories, tuck out my shirt, roll up my skirt, wear half of my socks and hope someone would notice. Well, anyone except Mr Fong, of course, who'd fix my attire right away to my dismay (all that hard work!)

I joined volleyball because the outfit looked cool. Prior to that, I had no fucking idea what the sport involved. Didn't even know if you used your hands or feet, for God's sake. Yes, it didn't matter that my thunder thighs bulged out under my itsy-bitsy panty-short, all I knew was that cool people joined volleyball, the cool sport. Which had won lots of awards. So i signed myself up for it straight away.

So yes, in other words, I was a total loser.

Ironically, when I (slowly) stopped paying attention to attention, I got something better-- a person who understood me. To date, I don't keep in touch with anyone in my secondary school except Jing Xin, my boyfriend. I join his friends Pu Yuan, Chien Tat and some other NAS people for soccer once a week or so, but theyre more his friends than mine. It's one of the biggest regrets in life I have today, that I didnt cherish my time in secondary school to make good friends (or at least not make a fool out of myself.)

So, in light of everything, I know this doesn't change anything but it's something important to me, I guess. I think it's perfectly alright if people still think I am a gross brat today, I was a gross brat and everyone's allowed to think what they want. I just want to thank some people who made my secondary school life easier (even though i was all three whatthfuck can you believe people like these exist?!)

Sien, Sophia and Esther were my best friends in Sec 1 and 2, and we gradually lost touch. Sien was someone I really looked up to (being 168cm) and I had always admired how she much of a multi-tasker she was. We shared alot of good times together and I was sad to see them go. Bernie was in my Sec 3 and 4 literature class, and she made it alot less of a pain in the ass than it could have been. She was always funny and crazy and quirky. And smart, in her own way.

The list would be endless if I included everyone I wanted to thank in a small way or another. But I guess its like that-- in life, you dont cherish things you have till you lose them. Of course, the best thing I got out of my secondary school education is my relationship with Jing Xin and Im not going to let that go :)

Fever!

2009-06-14T00:32:00.002+08:00

No, seriously, Im down with a fever. Have been falling sick in slow motion; today's officially the climax with the fever and Im hoping things cool down a bit after this. Gosh we could almost make this into a play.

AAHHHHH Jingboy is free free free at last! He's finally into his hols and we went out today despite me being sick and he not sleeping for 2 days straight. I hope I didnt get ripped off by the watch dealer :x

Love for Every Season

2009-06-13T09:01:00.003+08:00

Some things I'll miss about Sunny (Sucky) Singapore.

2009-06-11T19:59:00.002+08:00

The Real Yellow Cat (Hi Mishtah Fuzzylumpkins!)

The colours and shapes of my neighbourhood (Ah boi, zeees is squehh, zeees is tryanger)

Foreign workers (you think your buildings spring up overnight?)

My homieeezzz

Sun (not really)

Childhood memories (bad shot of my student care :3 good ol days!)

Cheapo iron gates and corridors. Shit I forgot to take the 'No Kicking' sign!

SBS (FREE AIRCON!!!)

Eternal construction (not really either)

Singahpohlang (Giving me weird looks)

I dont have the extra cash on hand to take up a sewing course like Maryam (envyenvy) but here's my answer to a cheaper self-help/improvement alternative that doesnt cost a bomb! Ive been watching youtube videos online and learning how to make food from there; its free and easy peasy!

Today's experimento: Thai Green Papaya salad which became Thai Green Mango Salad because i couldnt find any green papayas in the supermarkets! Yumeshh!

Close up. Yes the nuts are too big, didnt mash them properly. and we need to get a vergetable peeler :( I spent ages slicing the mango into strips...

Argh invasion of the puffy eyes!

And thats that :) Will cook more yummsh stuff if I can afford the time tomorrow!

AWARE Footage

2009-06-11T11:23:00.001+08:00

I know this comes in waaaay too late, but I just happened to watch this clip today. For those of you (and us) who had been reading the papers regarding the AWARE Saga, and not seen a more emotional side to it, as well as the ever infamous footage of "Shut up and sit down!"

I am Cow, Hear me Moo.

2009-06-10T23:59:00.003+08:00

First try and my cottage pie was a roaring (mooing?) success!

Seriously yummilicious. Cant wait to make papaya salad tomorrow!

Jaw Dropping

2009-06-10T00:30:00.001+08:00

This little Darling is your average 13 year old London sweetheart.

NOT.

Noa A.H. Leijdesdorff is the founder and editor-in-chief of BrainsBeauty, a fashion blog that's won two awards to date. Yes, she IS 13. Fantastic.

Joseph Beuys, "Sonne Statt Reagan" (1982)

2009-06-08T14:07:00.006+08:00

aus dem land dass sich selbst zerstört
from the land that autodestructs
und uns den way of life diktiert
and that dictates to us the way of life
da kommt reagan mit waffen und tod
comes reagan with weapons and death
und hört er “frieden” sieht er rot
and if he hears "peace" he sees red

er sagt als präsident von usa
he says as president of the usa
atomkern bietet doch und da
?atom core? offers here and now
ob polen, mittlerer osten , nicaragua
whether poland, middle east, nicaragua
er will den endsieg dass ist doch klar
he wants the final victory, that much is clear

- chorus -
doch wir wolln sonne statt reagan
but we want the sun instead of reagan (reagan/the us president and regen/rain sounds almost the same in german)
ohne rüstung leben
to live without the arms race
ob west ob ost
whether west or east
auf raketen muss rost
rockets should fall to rust
-repeat-

er will die säcke im osten reizen
he wants to provoke the rich bastards in the east
die auch nicht mit atomen geizen
who do not hold back with atoms either
doch dein krieg um hirnverbrannte ziele
but your war with crazy goals
der läuft nicht wegen wir sind viele
won't be on because we are many

hau ab mit deinen nuklear strategen
go away with your nuclear strategists
deinen russenhass an deinen strahlenregen
throw your hate for russians into your nuclear fallout
mensch, knitterface der film ist aus
dude, wrinkly face the movie is over
nimm die raketen mit nach haus
take your rockets home with you

denn wir wolln sonne statt reagan
for we want the sun instead of reagan
ohne rüstung leben
to live without the arms race
ob ost ob west
whether east or west
kalten kriegern die pest
to cold warriors the pest
-repeat-

dieser reagan kommt als mann der rüstungsindustrie
this reagan guy comes as a man of the arms industry
but the people of the states don’t want it, see
und den wahren frieden wirds erst geben
and we will only have real peace
wenn alle menschen ohne waffen leben
when all people will live without weapons

- repeat chorus a few times -

From UbuWeb:

"Beuys tried his luck as a pop singer as part of his political commitment. His song 'Sonne statt Reagan' attacks Ronald Reagan's arms policy. The song was issued as a record and Beuys appeared before big audiences with it during the peace movement's demonstrations and also with the group Die Desserteure in the ARD television broadcast 'Bananas' on 3.7.1982.

'Regen'', pronounced like 'Reagan', is the German for 'rain.'"

Hahaha funny beuys. Its kinda catchy too!

Dear Miss G,

2009-06-07T23:23:00.004+08:00

I didnt know you. I am one of the nameless students that you teach generation after generation. In fact I remember one assignment where I forgot to write my name and you wrote 'Nameless?'

The funny thing is that's one of the great things about being the kind of genius teacher you are. You reach out and touch the lives, the hearts and the souls of many nameless people just like me. Your influence carries through multitudes and your life story never fails to inspire and humble us ninnys.

The brat in me will never forget you. Never forget how us brats will leave the LTs feeling concussed after an hour of exposure to your brilliance. Never forget your constant pounding of sexual innuendo in our lectures that left us squeamish in our seats. And of course, we dont get to see it often, but I will never forget that one time we drifted off topic and talked about drooping boobs and you smiled so widely and left all the sorrow and pain behind the LT doors.

Rest in Peace, Miss G.

Love,
Nameless.

Bo-oring.

2009-06-06T23:28:00.004+08:00

Argh I have no life whatsoever! Dammit seriously right now I have no reason to convince myself of being anything like an art student. I dont read enough watch enough (SERIOUSLY HAVE ZERO FILM EXP) dont draw enough dont think enough dont crave enough dont have enough dont play enough dont live enough dont anything enough. I think I am positively sick of playing the waiting game.

Enough is Enough.

If I continue to be as amateur and boring as I am now I dont see myself going anywhere. Blah. Time to hit the streets/books/films/colour pencils. Argh I am so pathetic! Critique critique critique! I will not let myself rot into amorphousness! Blah blah blah blah blah blah

BANGS HEAD okay tomorrow will take many pigjars of family at an unsoundly sounding 7am breakfast. later will head off to Jingboy's soccer match and pray hard for a win (Dear God! Save the ~~Queen~~ team!) By the way the boy and I tried skyping and almost died laughing it was so stupid! especially when i was trying to show him my blister on my heel and ended up mooning him. my ass was literally covering the screen!

BLOBBEDY BLOB BLOB

Psychometric Test

2009-06-06T01:14:00.001+08:00

Just in case I'm psycho :)

Blur

2009-06-05T10:41:00.002+08:00

Ahh, my motto in life.

Give me a D!

2009-06-04T23:49:00.002+08:00

Fucking disappointed.

Shleepy Afternoons

2009-06-04T12:28:00.003+08:00

Heading down to SRJC later for some old school soccer at my alma mater. Argh is anybody selling a smartphone? I want to get two; one for myself and one for Jingboy so we can communicate on our handphones without paying gigonormous bills! Im quit sure that Im going to get a new plan in uk though, so getting the phone would be alot cheaper with plan, but Jingboy needs one too!

Money money money! If only I didnt buy that much clothes. damn you spendthrift streak!

You're Everything

2009-06-04T00:22:00.004+08:00

And in this crazy life
And through these crazy times
It's you, it's you
You make me sing
You're every word
You're every line
You're everything.

Thanks for helping me understand that sometimes, it's just all a matter of perception. Time to look at the bright side of life :) I love you, Jingboy.

Bliss

2009-06-03T00:14:00.001+08:00

Finally, I feel like I'm ready to move on.
Its just part and parcel of... life.

:))

It's Getting Hot in Here

2009-06-01T22:50:00.005+08:00

If you're observant enough, you'd realise before I told you that the bear's lower body is nonsexistant. If you're not, you probably wouldnt even know it was a bear.

So I got my hairdryer today, I like it and I think its pretty good but my mother think its too expensive. I didnt get it at a sale or anything and I have a bad feeling that once the GSS hits I'd suffer a loss.

Even though Ive been involving myself with stuffs these days, I keep thinking its not enough, not good enough. Typical workaholic. Ive just finished another of Murakami's, After Dark, and Im starting on George Eliot. To be truthful Ive been dreading getting my sketches done simply because Ive been such a bum and thinking about it seems like a daunting task. Plus it doesnt help that the heat is nigh unbearable.

This has been a period of solitude for me. It's not something I'm used to; I've always preferred having company and friends around me. That could be a reason why I've always been enthusiastic about school, or work, or basically being in any institution or any activity that involves engaging with other people. Nowadays, I pass my time mostly reading, if not surfing the net and heading to the stores for retail therapy (not that Im in need of any).

It's also been a time of uneasy reflection. Going to London scares the shit out of me. All this time Ive been frantically meeting up with people that I'll miss and wont be seeing for at least a year, trying to reorganize my life in a way thats best prepared for the shift there, learning basic stuff like cooking and housekeeping, and soaking in all I can about Singapore that I want to remember. I dont seem to be making use of my time here very well and that's what Im so afraid of-- that when Im there I'd regret why I didnt put in more effort in ensuring a better life 4 years down the road.

Having always surrounded myself with people for support, I find my insecurities surfacing one by one when I am slowly stripped of them, their presence and their existence in my life. Soon, even my mother and Jingboy wont be able to be here for me anymore. I know that it doesnt mean that when Im there all connection is cut, but its true to a great extent that it'll be alot harder than it is now to contact them easily.

This phase of life is a big leap forward for me. I don't think I'd be able to perfectly smooth out all the bumps ahead; in fact it might be easier on me if I just take a deep breath, sit through the rough ride and laugh off my sore ass later. A few aims I intend to work towards during my time there:

x More patience
x First Class Honours
x Go to one art related place/event a week
x Have great friends
x Not forget my old friends
x Churn out art work regularly
x Submit my art for exhibitions (if possible)
x Not eat trash everyday
x Keep fit

Ahh that made me feel better :)

Dear you,

2009-05-30T02:01:00.002+08:00

I know i keep promising pictures and not bringing them out, but seriously these days have been more tightly packed and its getting harder to post post post. which is a good thing!

I realise that alot of people are doing alot for me. Have realised. Did not realise then. Shucks I really feel bad about it all, especially when i take things for granted and want everything to be done my way. I can be such a fucking pain in the ass sometimes.

Dear you,
Thanks :)

(I am not making that much sense, too tired.) goodnight.

Annoying, but not annoyed

2009-05-27T15:31:00.003+08:00

Brought a shitload of luggage to starbucks as if i was running away from home and forgot the most important stuffs

1) Pencil Sharpener (%$^#!)
2) Macbook Charger ( %$^#!!)
3) Earphones (%$^#!?!?!)
4) Jacket (%$^#!!!!! later)

Hopefully the mac doesnt die soon. Live Mac LIIIIIVE!!!!

Okay and had an encounter with a ridiculously stupid TPJC Total Bitch. I have pics of her! Later.

Reproductivity

2009-05-27T00:38:00.004+08:00

Have just finished Norwegian Wood, its the kind of book I would like to hug to sleep at night; save for the fact that books, unlike boobs, are not made for hugging. That said i would definitely prefer hugging books rather than boobs regardless of whether they be girl boobs or man boobs (the horror!). I like it, I like Murakami (thanks Qi bi for the unconscious introduction! You have great book taste!) and I cant wait to get my hands on more of them; apparently this is barely even the tip of the iceberg!

Today was the kind of day where you feel good about yourself, where things that go wrong end the right way up, a sunshine day (though the weather was nice and chilly, not scorching as it has been the past few days). Managed to create a body scrub, workout at the gym, run, finish the book and spend loads of good ol' quality time with jingboy.

Ahh I did think this would be the life. Next time when we retire we ARE going to buy a little cottage looking house and cook carrot cake and vegetable soup and maggi mee and work on our art or design pieces and romp around the whole time till the cows come home. Im going to name one Patty and you can name the other one. We'll probably have a few cats and dogs and go broke/crazy feeding them. No rabbits they hump too much.

Im not kidding, photobucket is still down, blow me down. Thou shalt have to wait, ya fat arse.

Bummer.

2009-05-26T00:25:00.001+08:00

ok photobucket is giving me a headache so pics tomorrow! nights!

There can be Miracles...

2009-05-25T22:35:00.005+08:00

I NEED MUNNEH
I NEED MAH HUNNEH
I NEEDTA STOP BUMMENH
I NEED A HAIREEAH HEAHD

Im sick and tired of resting my bum and watching it grow bigger at home. I swear if i keep this up it wouldnt be able to fit through the plane door in august. Tomorrow am going to start my first sketch at the local library and start my DAILY WEEKDAY EXERCISE ROUTINE. I'll have to do at least one activity of the available choices below or suffer $2 reduction in pocket money.

1) Run 10 rounds at the stadium or equivalent (about half an hour)
2) Play soccer
3) Gym for at least 2 hours (i normally leave after one.)
4) Swim 15 100m Laps

Am going to start small if it works out well Im going to extend it to weekends too. Will chart my exercise regime/ savings plan!

Also, am going to limit myself to no more than $100 worth of shopping allowance a month! Ive obviously busted my budget for this month (WAAAAAY PAST CAP) so no more foolish squandaries; at least till the beginning of next month!

Will uplaod all piccies in a second post tonight, I AM SO FIRED UP AND READY TO ROLLLL!!!

Sebastian's Voodoo

2009-05-24T09:34:00.000+08:00

Implosion

2009-05-24T00:52:00.002+08:00

Closest I've gotten to depression.

P/s: Pics coming soon.

Purgatory

2009-05-23T00:29:00.004+08:00

Disillusionment has hit me hard; Ive recently started doubting every minute thing in the people whom i would have previously put my life on the line for. The feeling is distasteful; I feel like a perpetually have a lump in my throat when it comes to being open about my affection and my concerns. How do you say things that people pretend to accept, but secretly reject? How can you befriend people who profess the world, but don't know your day to day worries? Worse; how could I have mistaken all that for a genuine friendship?

I'm not even referring directly to my friendship with people in the workplace; this is a statement that has held uncannily true in all areas of my life; save for two. And with every mounting failure my insecurities have soared higher and higher-- is there something wrong with me? Why do people act that way? Why am I constantly misinterpreted? I seem to lack the accurate self-knowledge to identify the problem, and like a woman 'without wood' I bend easily to the whispers of the world; friend or foe.

But with every broken promise is a stronger self. The strength to have courage; even in the face of fire. Courage to look back, courage to look forward, courage to move forward. Without wood, like the weeds, I'll reach forward, I'll crawl forward, till the day I die. Even if death is nothing but a nihilistic regression, I don't have any better idea at this point of time than to move forward.

forward, and onward.

Spoilers Ahead

2009-05-21T10:16:00.003+08:00

ARGH CAN'T BELIEVE ADAM LAMBERT DIDNT WIN!
Kris is great but he isn't quite the willy wonka or mad hatter as adam. It's a pity, I thought everyone was expecting adam to win! Okay then again I've not even caught a full episode the whole season, so who am i to say who's who eh?

Meeting Jiayi and Deb and hopefully evan later; it'll be great to catch up after hiding in my house throughout the entire renovation and totally being out of touch with the rest of the world. Gwen and Van, Im joining you guys on saturday at ECP! And Im probably going for a medical checkup tomorrow; hope everything turns out fine.

Dang I just got scratched by my cat on my nose. stupid cat.

I AM GOING TO GOLDSMITHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-20T18:19:00.001+08:00

Am going to miss you very much, Cheng Jing Xin :(((

Ohhh Old Art Dayzeee

2009-05-20T13:56:00.001+08:00

Kitty-on-Loan: The End of your Roach Worries!

2009-05-20T01:42:00.003+08:00

I wish I could bring kitty with me to London. He is, after all, my cat. And if I cant ship neither my family nor jingboy over, i could use some kittykat company.

Plus he is the greatest roach buster of all time; i couldnt find the stinking thing after ransacking my whole room and he was like "Shniff Shniff somethings intresthing behind the cupboard". After shifting the cupboard he caught the roach in seconds and held it in his mouth like a prize. Would probably play with it, tearing every limb apart before eating it if my father didnt just throw it in the bin.

Tomorrow is my phone interview by Goldsmiths; argh! Wish me luck!

Badly Awakened

2009-05-18T09:03:00.011+08:00

It is time that I learn that not everyone is worthy of the same amount of trust, no matter how friendly or genuine they may seem to be at first. This latest one is far from being the first time that my open nature was taken advantage of; and it probably wouldn't be my last at this rate. I'm sick and tired of trusting people and believing they'll always act in my best interests, and later learning that the feeling was never mutual.

It's so true what they say; don't wear your heart on your sleeve at work, or for that matter almost everywhere else. People are thus less disinclined to give it a light stab when they feel like doing so.

A lesson learnt a little too late, but nevertheless learnt as well. In retrospect, at least I know what to look out for when I start teaching; though I'm certain then that office politics will take on a whole new level of ugliness. I got what I wanted out of this job; it was fun working there from start to the end and I learnt something about work and life that I had never been taught throughout all 12 years of study.

Backstabbed

2009-05-17T02:14:00.002+08:00

And this is solid proof that i wouldn't last one episode of "Survivor", haha. Thanks to Jingboy and Jiayi who were here for me when I needed you guys-- made a bitter pill a lot less hard to swallow.

Time to start my portfolio! (NOW there really is no excuse not to.)

2D1N Stay with BBQ Included

2009-05-16T01:43:00.003+08:00

Courtesy of my house's disastrous and inconvenient environment, I went to Jingboy's place for a night and we managed to make it into a little getaway from all the hunundrums of life. It was totally refreshing, entirely enjoyable and deliciously escapist. I sound like a tour touter, haha. But seriously! We didn't need to get out of Singapore to enjoy ourselves the un-Singaporean way, eating, chatting, and basically not worrying about deadlines, interviews and the like.

The upcoming UWC coming up is giving JX's place a dust problem too with all that construction.

Our BBQ started off as a potential failure; we lacked so many BBQ essentials (whilst having way too much food) and couldn't get the fire started initially. But, all's well that ends well!

Yummy looking... fire starters?!

The art of skewering chickys, I am le mastahh!!!

Slow but steady wins the race.

Some of the food. By the end of the whole thing we realised that we didnt eat about $10 worth of food. Hahaha kiasu.

Stuffing my face first!

Sad looking (and not that delicious) cheese hotdogs.

And finally, we get to eating together! Three cockroaches and a cat came to join the party.

Nom nom nom.

Ouch.

And back at the house!

Tired!

Lovelovelove :3 These 2 days were fantastic, and it all wouldnt have been without you.

There It Goes.

2009-05-14T00:32:00.004+08:00

So I did something stupid today. I went to bathe at the temporary toilet today and forgot to take my toiletries back home with me after doing so. Which includes the Clinique face wash.

Of course (though I had pretty high false hopes), my clinique face wash happily flew away into the loving embrace of its new owner in the same block. Unless a bangladeshi worker took it, of course. Being lighthearted about this has nothing to do with magnanimity; it's just that baths tend to wash away all grouses and complaints together with the day's worth of dirt. I hope against hopes that the person who needs it is less fortunate than me (sour grapes), and that this is in fact a blessing in diguise (SOUR SOUR SOUR GRAPES). Ah well, more reason to shop tomorrow or friday!

I think I know what it means to be happy.

When I think of you I feel like bursting out in smiles, or like doing a little jiggle, or simply rubbing my tummy. Because that's where it all is, all that heady and intoxicating euphoria clamped in the depths of my soul that's just dying to be let out. I guess it seeps out of my nostrils, or from the pores on my skin, because if i hold it any longer i might just explode.

oh, heavy head, happy heart. I feel yellow.

Mean

2009-05-12T23:42:00.002+08:00

Rule #1
Always remember to wear a bra when camwhoring.

My baby is in the house!

2009-05-11T11:15:00.007+08:00

My house the day the renovation started; it turned into a refugee camp.

And just before you claim that gwen is seeing things, here is THE refugee's toilet! Haha!

The terrified cat seeking some company,

And yes, the macbook has officially ARRIVED!!!

Some camwhoring with photobooth.

~~Sorry if the picture sizes are off, im trying to fix all the problems and hopefully I'll get them to their normal size by night. Looks like it's back to the drawing board.~~ Ahh there we go. Iphoto sucks.

These days Ive been spending hours on end just reorganizing and repairing self induced technical glitches-- attempts to bring my prior pc life back to normal on a mac. It's been difficult but nothing is too difficult for a girl who has too much time on her hands and too little money to go out shopping.

Thursday is going to be a bang; shan't tell you what's happening but you guys will sniff it out anyway! Yippee I can't wait I can't wait!

Tan Hong Ming

2009-05-11T09:04:00.007+08:00

Got this off Phy's blog. If you don't play this you dont know what you're missing! It's a Malaysian commercial and it's pretty self-explanatory :)) I noticed it's something about designers (or friends of mine who are designers) They all like watching commercials!

Toilet Renovation

2009-05-07T15:01:00.001+08:00

The only way to beat loud drilling noises is loud music.

SHUT UP AND LET ME GO, HEY!

Annoyed

2009-05-07T00:28:00.007+08:00

okay will probably close mowyourlawn cuz Im too lazy to bring everything over manually, so Underwater world it is!

I dont really know what I'm fretting about, seriously. Im pissed off for multiple reasons, one-- my boyfriend is totally insecure, two-- im so fucking impatient when it comes to insecurity issues, three-- im tired from two long days at work and lastly-- all the incessant worrying that ive been doing over every and anything that's thought-worthy.

Everyone's got so many different views regarding the scholarship, which at this point of time isn't really helping. It ANNOYS me that the moment i talk about it some ditzs would immediately come to the conclusion that Im there for this great party, to hook up with all the white boys and to go get myself dead drunk in the world's hottest party scene. I am NOT. I am there to study, and I am VERY HAPPY DOING THAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I dont need some sexually deprived self esteem boost and im not on the road to pleasure island either.

Once, this smart ass promptly replied "Won't you be tempted?" when I told her of the scholarship. I was so offended; I mean what?! Like just because you're in a different place and you're away from home means you can be the 'epitome' of your Other-- this debauched version of yourself taking pleasure in sins formerly unknown and unattainable to you? where is your frigging sense of dignity and identity, especially since she knows I have a boyfriend and yet assumes that i'll be suitably spoilt for choice and eagerly looking for a replacement in white haven london?

I guess this is something Im going to have to learn about public opinion. you cant really take it too seriously (especially if the people you talk to obviously dont know shit 1)about you or 2)about London) even though ive been doing that for a lifetime. I'll have to try to stop being so affected by it, throw out the trash and instead listen to people who try actually giving SOUND advice, or who are concerned enough to do that.

On the other hand, I really appreciate all of you whove been so supportive of my getting the scholarship. Thanks for all the cheers and congratulations, and for all the good advice :) especially my mum, whose been like the pillar of support all this while.

Anyway, if you don't yet know, my application for the MOE Teaching Scholarship to Goldmiths University in London has been approved :)) Now all i need to do is to get an approval from Goldsmiths, and I'll be off to uk for 4 years in August!

Ohficial

2009-05-06T00:07:00.002+08:00

mowyourlawn.wordpress.com

for some frigging privacy!
the difference between blogger and wordpress is like the difference between bathing in a cubicle and in the underwater world.

Pierce

2009-05-01T03:13:00.003+08:00

Dinner with Gwen and Jingboy was fun.

Am feeling highly distressed.
soaked my clothes. will wash tomorrow.
Queasy. vomited before meeting and feel like doing so now.
just realised ive got 'unbearable' spelled wrong.

if I'm like that in singapore... would i be reduced to mush by the sheer solitude i am bound to face in uk?

erase erase erase

anyway was happy yesterday im officially in ntu's adm.

Eli's Dirty Jokes-Episode 3

2009-04-29T11:40:00.002+08:00

Hahahahaha!

The Greatest Photographer: Jacq

2009-04-26T18:00:00.002+08:00

Reminder: Im hiring you as the official photographer for my wedding (or seriously, anything else) whether you like it or not!

Sick of...

2009-04-26T11:15:00.000+08:00

myself.

Feeling Lumpy (Lumps do not like action)

2009-04-24T01:01:00.002+08:00

I just may regret getting a mere $400 per month from this month onwards. Especially if all days are as unproductive as today. Spent the entire morning and early afternoon watching Naruto till the last dubbed episode :( Now it's either the manga or nothing!

I have to start on my portfolio. And send my materials to Goldsmiths. And finish my applications for NAC and DSG scholarships. or go nuts.

Ah, the woes of the free. I think I'm a workaholic.

Updates :))

2009-04-22T00:36:00.004+08:00

Always having a feast for the price of a meal! We had good thai food at changi airport's kopitiam last sunday despite it being... kopitiam. We even managed to tapao another person's share. That's my ahma on the right, it was her birthday celebration! We didn't manage to do much though, lol.

Later rushed down for Jingboy's Team Sporting Goras' first league match. They played pretty badly and even though it got better in the 2nd half, it wasn't enough for them to make a comeback. Down with 5-2 score on their first match, boo! Who cares they look pretty sporting for pictures though :)

THAT is my boyfriend. HAHAHA!

The only two grinning people, jingxin and venga. hahaha!

*uber happy* someone came to visit todaaaayy!!! Am making a weird scrapbook of people who visit me at work! hahaha! I managed to get a date with her too, yayness! Can't wait! Oh wait, what are we doing again?

Proposition

2009-04-21T01:01:00.005+08:00

If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
Between now and then, till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, me

Funny how this, which meant so little, and then so much
is going to be the essence of my first portfolio project.
(I think.)

A Poor Fool's Thoughts

2009-04-19T11:34:00.006+08:00

Within my minuscule social circle, I know of some people whom I easily label brilliant. People whose brains function at such as level that we average humanozoids can only gasp and make unflattering cavemen-like noises at, creating the age old sounds of appreciation like "oohs" and "ahhs" of applause.

These brilliant people care not for the restrictions of the society, yet they are by far the most constrained. Because of their sheer brilliance, their mere existence and influence is a threat to any old fool who comes along and pledges her loyalty (undeniably the most readily abused power in the world) to them. Most geniuses either perform at most average in mass grading tests that require more hard work than hard intellect to ace, and continue to be so throughout the rest of their lives unless they can channel their brilliance in a way that is socially acceptable.

Its the cold truth that we are not ready to welcome geniuses, only geniuses who can contribute to society. The world at its current state has no place for young Edisons, and deals with them by labelling them highly volatile, or at most mentally retarded. It is the biggest hypocrisy of all; to group both advanced and under-developed minds together simply because we do not understand their nature. But the underlying reason for our ostracism of the highly talented is their own power to manipulate character to get what they want. Character is what society builds in order to mould citizens whose actions become predictable, who are able to live in harmony in a herd that continually moves forward, away from danger, never straying left nor right.

And so, such irony it is that what most people define as 'unique' is something that everyone has, character. There is safety in numbers, placating the masses with a rosy definition of themselves instead of acknowledging the unattainable brilliance of the minority geniuses. Here is the age of democracy-- power to the masses, power to the norm, power to quantity over quality. Democracy which robs the rich in intellect of their right to world dominion, to give the poorer fools happiness.

Post Its

2009-04-19T01:41:00.003+08:00

It's april already.

Can't believe that a third of the year has spun by and gone past so fast. So enjoyably, but also so stupidly. Spending money like nobody's business. Getting caught up in the least important things in life, wishing to go on holiday just because, trying to be past nineteen without looking too desperate.

Can life get any better/worse than this?

After the MOE TS Scholarship Interview. Thanks to everyone who wished me good luck and showed your concern for me, it was alright (largely due to jingboy's unexpected genius!!!)

SUICIDE!

Kidding. they're fake by the way.

*happy* Some people came to visit today!!!

Oily food is making my stomach churn. gulp.

Nobody Nobody But Chuu

2009-04-16T11:34:00.001+08:00

Jiayi was driving me nuts at work but now I see why she's crazy over this song. It's not the song, its the dance! Nobody nobody but chuu!

Tecktonik

2009-04-14T11:59:00.001+08:00

Family.

2009-04-12T21:31:00.005+08:00

Its funny how I look at you and see happiness, and you look at yourself and see a bad haircut.

Was just about to post when commercial appeared on tv. My mother and I truly thought it was a segment of some local drama serial or a movie and couldnt believe it when it turned out to be another fantastic advertisement promoting the importance of the family unit (only government propaganda deserves good adverts).

Anyway, today was a pretty family-oriented day for me and my mum; we first had a makeover done at paragon organised by Elizabeth Arden before heading to Island Cafe for lunch. The makeover event was definitely alot duller than my sister's Estee Lauder one, with only two makeup-cum-hairstyling counters in comparison to Estee's separate sections for makeup and hairstyling, about 8-16 booths each and all of them fully equipped with new, clean materials.

The result of weekly soccer: a bad tan. Im so not pretty.

Momsh and I!

At the Island Cafe, where I personally think we got ripped off because I'd definitely tasted yummier laksa and fried tung hoon and dont think they were worth the $16 and $14 repectively that we paid for (even though the former had crayfish in it, and the latter was topped with soft shell crab). we did pay for good ambience though, it was nice dining with a window view at the top of tangs!

pretty womom.

looks yummy but ive had better.

productive shopping today after some evan inspired bargain finding shopping! Managed to get stuff from cotton on body and an adidas hoodie (BEST BUY!) hip hip hooray! alright work tomorrow :/

Typical A2 Moment

2009-04-11T09:53:00.004+08:00

The A2 Moment:
To stand in a group, preferably a crowded walkway, and deliberate over non-important issues such as where next to go, what next to eat, and to come to a conclusion that will incur another A2 Moment the very next minute.

Taking the bus to Kallang Leisure Park(?) (Isnt it a mall? Am I missing something?) Anyway Jingboy and I were very late, which is why by the time we reached there to meet Jac the first thing she said was "I'M GOING CRAZY!" So sorry!

Ghostly hand behind ahma.

Later after a long A2 Moment, we decided that we would all go ice skating save for Tp and Kaixiang who wanted to watch Fast and Furious 4 (to save alot of money too). The place was kinda small, but horribly crowded. Because there were so many people, the ice started melting fast and after a while it seemed as if we were skating in a pond.

Many ahbengz there who zoom past beginners, shave ice all over their friends, kick chunks of ice out of the ground, talk loudly and make tribal sounds (to alphy's delight).

Someone lightsabered ahma's head!

Before: Pose for a picture.

After: Almost falling down after posing for a picture.

Someone looks too happy.

Yay us!

We tried the train for a while, which was pretty fun (even though it felt like i was pulling a pile of logs) but got told off. Bummer.

Skate skate skate.

Camwhoring with ahma, whose hair is never in a mess.

The boys.

Guess who's back!

The only one perspiring in the cold ice rink.

Happy!

Unglam picture but i thought jacq looked nice so-- FOR YOUR BENEFIT OKAY SEE IM SUCH A GOOD FRIEND!

A2 in action.

Alphy:I... cant...do this...
Jacq: Zoom!

Alphy fell 5 times and had tweetybird plasters all over later. Poor boy.

Dinner at pastamania's after reuniting with the army boys (who knows what happened in the theatre...)

Does the car pop out (i don't think so...)

Toodles! Cant wait for the next A2 outing (with less A2 moments please!)

Full Speed Ahead

2009-04-08T10:20:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was seriously the worst day of work Ive ever had; ironically it was also the first day I officially switched to part-time. Three (excluding a few irritating others) seriously fucked up customers who 1) make personal attacks 2) try to take advantage of good service and 3) dont fucking listen. Maybe that's the reason why Singapore's known to be so hostile and unfriendly in its service industry-- because of such horrid customers.

Then again, seriously not worth my time recounting (when Ive got to meet evan later at 11!) As promised, here is the massive picture post that's been sitting in my camera for eons. And just a sidenote; my psc scholarship has been rejected so that's probably the end of my dream to study art in Goldsmiths :( I'll just have to aim for NTU, NUS and LASALLE then.

staying over because of this lousy computer :))

paparazzi photo

humongodongous fat cat

walking back with expensive (but nevertheless yummy) durian ice blend

haha another old couple picture!

frantically digging for durian bits

random

leaves covering private bits

my new hairstylist

and the end result: BACK TO MY OLD HAIRSTYLIST!

so judy (and jiayi...)

gloria jeans with neighbouring shop friends

kittymunna!

drawing for ntu admission (got bored at the end)

(after) Testimonial Match 2

seriously my favourite pic

amin killing us with his whistle

my fellow photographer (and wtf is that?!)

mr lee's inner desires

succession

thanks mr tsui!

pu yuan was cheated.

going out again :))

i made this for both of us!

lost my ipanemas so had to borrow jingboy's mum's

typical jingboy face

eyeing other people's food

seriously worth the money. you dont get movies like these anymore (i really think gran torino beats slumdog hands down)

ahhh so cute!

getting (almost) lost finding the field to play soccer at

bathing birds

we went to pasir ris park to cycle; jingboy can cycle now! yay!

they got pissed when i took this photo

"hot!"

pleasure little treasure

bad hair day

okay im late! bye!

Sad Hiatus

2009-04-05T09:14:00.002+08:00

promise to get the blog up and running by this tuesday. i hate it when my computer crashes.

will have to do picture purging (about over 100 of them) when the com's back on its wobbly feet.

ps: have definitely decided to get a macbook! Will probably get it by the end of april yayness!

Secret

2009-03-24T02:04:00.001+08:00

cant stop thinking about
about about
about

tomorrow night.

:)

1154-1210

2009-03-22T23:54:00.004+08:00

Thank you so much evan! I love you!

Not kittyproof?

Went out with jingboy yesterday :))

Hello panda!

FEP :)

The boss.

Gelare gelare.

Chocolate Waffle + Chocolate Overload + Cookies and Cream + Chocolate Sauce = YUMZ and a sore throat

Cheapskate Gelare doesnt even give free water.

Typical Lisa expression: UNGLARM

Two persons kboxing for 5 hours without knowledge of more than half of the available songs ( mandarin ones) is almost a miracle. We went nuts.

First free drink: Coke Float and Shandy.

Second free drink at 3am: Mineral Water, haha.

Seriously awesome.

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Never meant so much as it did yesterday.

Shivering in Negotiation

2009-03-21T01:51:00.002+08:00

why?

Fear.

Two Sides to a Coin

2009-03-20T23:59:00.004+08:00

Things dont look as good as they seem; the divorce may be alot more complicated than expected. Looks like more small talks ahead. Need to stop any contests or we're both screwed.

Anyway have been catching up with pals! As if Ive got so much time to do so :)) Here are the sad looking gifts i made for all my classmates that i forgot to bring on results day. Bummer.

WHATCHA LOOKING AT CAT?

Here's kitty, look he's so grown up now! :3

"You shed shum-ihn?"

Met the other jiayi on tuesday, whilst working with jiayi. made lots of stupid jiayi jokes and stuffs. aww sec school days!

Later met up with the sweet bunch of birthday-celebrater's (fara's) and wasted loads of money at the arcade and kboxing.

Sadly Kbox's alcoholic beverages are as alcoholic as soya bean milk.

Thursday; met evan and the boy for last minute shoe shopping and catch up times before the testimonial match! Argh she made me so happy! And she even got me a birthday present my yellow yellow star!

We couldn't stop bouncing around vivo and inviting weird stares, especially from ex-SRJCians.

Pretty pretty teacher!

Unleashing the inner child in her.

In the end we didnt get the boots because none fit well enough :( And we won the match later on 4-0; i scored two goals! but seriously think my finishing was horrid. Lack of practice on field i think. keep overestimating my power and getting my technique screwed up so i ended up missing a hell lot of chances.

Left before taking any pictures to spend the rest of the day with Jingboy, which was lovely :) And with that, tata! I'll leave you with evan's pretty pink shoes and my unglarmness.

(argh okay just googled "yellow star" and realised its a universal symbol of nazi persecution! you're just a nice star evan!)

Banana banana

2009-03-18T23:24:00.003+08:00

wanted to research on a good place to go to for a quick getaway and googled 'WONG BROTHERS'.

took me a bit to remember that it was 'CHAN BROTHERS'.
haha.

Just a Sidenote

2009-03-15T23:47:00.007+08:00

Work has made me into a dull "Hi do you need a basket?" machine. I recently cried because every little moment, every miniscule minute I squeeze out of my lengthy, yet empty days pass by the nanoseconds. I feel myself slipping out of my fingers; a soggy mass of pining for the days when education blew my ego and made me feel like I was somebody, anybody. When friends stood by you when you had real problems. Now I dont even have real problems, I dont want to lose my real friends. Im thankful I know what I dont want in life-- I dont want a job that makes me happy on every 8th and 18th because that's payday. I dont want to joke, banter and laugh my life away into nothingness. I don't want to spend 10 and a half hours and a happy, energetic self on people who don't give a shit, and 2 lousy hours ignoring people who'd die for me.

I want to carve bits and pieces of my life into my art, so when I look back at 54 years of age with wrinkly, flaky skin, yellow teeth and dementia or alzheimer's I can ask Jingboy (who'd be Jingahpek by then) "Do you remember these two jokers?" he'll laugh at my ailing memory and say "Im quite sure they're Deb and Evan, but they very well could be Jiayi and Kailing, or two of the three musketeers, or heck even my favourite Tp and Kaixiang-- Darling you know how bad my memory is."

Happy Days

2009-03-14T14:43:00.006+08:00

Too many to list them all :))

Push

2009-03-11T23:56:00.002+08:00

Ive had absolutely zilch me time this week because work is sapping whatever precious time i have left to apply for scholarships and universities, which basically leaves me to deal with those during my free time. No pictures because ive simply not been going out. have not gone out with the boy for two weeks. Nor with my family.

Cant wait to quit- (Cant believe Ive been thinking this way all week though; Ive actually been so happy in this job.) Anyway thanks evan :) I wanna spend time with you too! I miss you and pw times where we ate oh lua and my place's carrot cake! ohohoh do you wanna come over?

Will blog when i have some free time. In the meantime. No time.

ARGHH

2009-03-09T22:48:00.003+08:00

I NEED TO SCREAMMMM

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH

AM SO BLOODY FRUSTRATED

feel like such a fucking failure. the irony.

(okto: "always look on the bright side of life!")

Results Shmesults

2009-03-06T18:26:00.004+08:00

I know I shouldnt be.
But Im feeling awful.

This is the second time I've learnt that what may seem to be very good,
doesn't always come out that way.

To all my friends,
results shmesults
you're all winners because you guys are great people, great individuals, great friends.
Not because of some stupid letter on a slip.

If you did well, that's awesome.
If you didnt, you're still awesome.
Nothing changes.

Can't wait to see all of you guys again.
Love.

"Don't you find being with the same guy for so long sian?"

2009-03-05T00:15:00.003+08:00

Not for one moment, honey.
xoxo,
Larry

You Made My Day

2009-02-24T23:48:00.002+08:00

Thanks everyone who went out of their way to wish me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It was really sweet and your well-wishes were really appreciated :)))

Pictures some other time; all in all today was a good-bad day and im too tired to blog about it. God's sakes i have eyebags already. Night!

Creds to The Sartorialist

2009-02-24T18:10:00.003+08:00

r

I LOVE THIS LOOK! Want the hair!!! Great layering style and just adore the characteristic quirky green-tights-and-flat combi complementing the heavier upper body frame (Gosh, she has great sense of balance; and seriously it's difficult to achieve asymmetrical balance in outfits yet pull it off with a personal style.) Okay birthday time going to changi village byeee.

To Both of Us

2009-02-24T17:41:00.003+08:00

Love is either the mode of becoming which appropriates the other to itself by consuming it, introjecting it into the self until it the self disappears. Or love is the movement of becoming that allows the one and the other to grow. For such love to exist, each one must keep its body autonomous. One must not be the source of the other, nor the other of one. Two lives must embrace and fecundate each other with no preconceived goal or end for either.

-Luce Irigary, French Feminist Theorist

2009-02-22T23:14:00.000+08:00

I suck.

If God Exists

2009-02-20T00:42:00.002+08:00

And gave me one wish
I would wish for wisdom.

or happiness.

Now which is better,
to be Solomon, or a pig?

Teeth Gritting Frustration

2009-02-18T00:58:00.004+08:00

Great day with Deb and Kailin to the MOE Scholarship Networking Session, but several other things fucked up today and Im not in a pleasant mood so Im keeping this one succint.

Deb and I met in the afternoon for lunch at Ikea, and later for supper, which was gewwwd! Reminiscent of old times at the canteen and stealing away to Deb's infamous crazy night walks to some random, yet awesome eatery. Plus all that talking, haha!

Yes i love you very much

Her hair's so much longer now! (Personally I liked the crop best.)

Cannot make it married couple, we're just glad we didnt get green tea or carrot juice down each other's fronts.

Met kailin later and went to MOE HQ for the networking session. If you wanna know what happened ask me about it in real life, I'm not going to do any online booboos and will gladly let you know how the whole thing went! Generally I did manage to learn alot more about teaching, at least.

And I met Phoon Yu see he's not a fictional character! He didnt seem to happy to see me though :(

HE'S SO TALL NOW!

Later last minute dessert at some nice dessert place at bugis before heading home :))

On to my bath.

Shopaholic's Dilemma

2009-02-17T01:02:00.001+08:00

Too broke to afford $8.99 Nature's Bounty Hair Pills. That's if i want my macbook.
What do i want, more hair or a macbook?

Sad :(

Glue

2009-02-16T23:28:00.002+08:00

I just realised

1) Jiayi and I are working together at Cactus and Pine
2) Gil, Zarifah, Deb, Tingxin and Nisha are working as camp facilitators together
3) The 2A2 boys are all at NS, save for a very heng Kwa Kaixiang
4) The jobless are hanging out every saturday, occasionally with Alphie and Jacq
5) Evan got her dream job and keeps in touch

JC may be over, but A2 is not :)

Bingo

2009-02-16T01:45:00.011+08:00

Tell you what, Im just glad nothing screwed up this time. As you can see I tried (with odds of success at 100:1) to get my pictures uploaded again in a bid not to delay this post and to test my non-existent patience. Gosh i seriously need to quit using photobucket; or at least pay more attention because it's a real pain in the ass. Okay, on to VDAY!

Even Valentines' not big enough an excuse not to play soccer; we both kinda agreed on that (actually, I insisted, he sulked. haha!) we met in late in the morning, me later, and played for a short while before ending off early for all the guys to prepare for their once-a-year dates, though i heard not even a twitter about any of the guys' plans. Its just a guy thing. I managed to get some shots post-game.

Venga poking a tree with a stick. Ask him.

We were pretty overdressed in comparison to everyone else; i have no idea why isn't Valentines like the day to dress up and stuffs? Maybe it's because we decided not to visit Orchard-- a wise choice I must say, after hearing from Judy today how disgustingly packed it was.

Our train ride commenced the beginning of our date, and more annoyingly, the start of my rapid picture taking. Jingxin was wavering between feeling bemused or annoyed by the end of the day. Maybe he's just confused. haha!

Wahlao cant stand my duck lips here.

We went to Haji as I had earlier proposed but Jingboy was not the least interested in looking at his stuffs so we went to VictoriaJomo, a shop I like. And look i think we look so cute gush gush gush (Jiayi: EWW CANNOT STAND IT)

Jingboy says we look like some peranakan couple getting married in the 60's. We shouldnt have smiled I think, they always don't smile right?

Who's that sexy boy? Hmm I wonder. Cant see the face dang.

Then, out of the blue, we decided to peep over to Arab street and i saw the mosque. Pictures don't show it but it was bloody hot, I was so afraid I'd get armpit patches.

We were slightly amused at first, but soon disgusted to realise how touristy Kampong Unglam has become. Stupid 3 for $10 shops and fake mass produced souvenirs. Urgh. What a waste of the rich cultural heritage for it to deteriorate into Ang Moh Singapore.

Sleepy Angmohs at Sleepy Sam's.

To which I exclaimed "This doesn't make any grammatical sense!?"

HAHAHA. If you ever asked yourself "Ward arh books?", you've come to the right place!

Unable to bear the scorching heat for long in our overdressed attire, we headed to Fish&Co for a nice lunch. It was filled with couples; so much so that Jingboy said it seemed like a matchmaking agency. YES IM SORRY I MADE YOU WALK SO FAR STOP SULKING.

Dont you think he has enviably long eyelashes?

Can. Eat. A. Cow. WHAT, NO COW, ONLY FISH?!

Perusing the rip off valentine's special, which we obviously didnt get (smart, we are!)

I.

Am.

HUNGRY!

After our yummilicous Fish&Co meal we decided that Vivo's the safest place to go without wasting any time nor extra effort (my feet were getting a little sore as Val predicted). We didn't get much pictures there since it's a shopping mall and photograply isn't allowed in most, if not all shops, but we had a fantastic time anyway :)

Mind blowing kiss, literally.

If this is Vivo, what do you think Orchard would have been?

And lastly, dinner at Foodrepublic because we were both still sated by our humongodongous lunch.

And that concludes, in a pretty short summary, our fantastic Vday. It was a dream date for me, I loved every minute of it, and, more importantly, the person who spent it with me. To say that we were camwhoring that day would be an understatement.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!
(And finally, goodnight.)

Photobucket is a Bitch

2009-02-16T00:27:00.003+08:00

IVE ACHIEVED NOTHING EXCEPT DELETING ALL MY EXISTING PICTURES ACCIDENTALLY AFTER TWO FUCKING HOURS.

ANGRY.